Grieving and How It Affects the Body

Grief doesn’t just break your heart—it can break your body too. In traditional Chinese medicine, grief is believed to be stored in the lungs. When we don’t process it, it clogs the energetic pathways, called meridians, and starts to manifest as real physical symptoms. After my mother passed, I noticed my lungs weren’t the same. Simple things like walking up the road left me breathless. It wasn’t just sadness—I could feel it, literally, in my chest. And I don’t think that was a coincidence. I was grieving, but I was also holding on to guilt, anger, and years of pain. In Chinese medicine, the lungs are connected to grief, but also to letting go. And I hadn’t let go—not of the past, not of the blame, not even of the version of my mother I never got to see. The turning point came one day when my daughter said something simple but profound: “Mom, your mother did the best she could.” That hit hard. It cracked open a part of me that had been holding tight for too long. I realized I had been living out my mother’s struggle. Her COPD. Her silence. Her hurt. And when I forgave her, something shifted inside me. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly, my lungs began to heal. I could breathe again. And I don’t just mean that metaphorically—my physical symptoms eased, too. That’s the power of processing grief. Of honoring it. Of letting it move through you instead of letting it settle in you. Grief may start in the heart, but if we’re not careful, it finds its way to the body. So, give yourself the grace to feel, to forgive, and to exhale. Girl, you're doin' just fine.